Blog Post 10/08

My minds all over the place. Painting in itself, I lose myself in the marks. I don't think of them as marks now. When the brush is really wet and gooey its to slick for a "mark." The sound doesn't match the passage of paint to canvas.

What is bothering me is how to proceed in my work. The facets I'm pursuing in the "body" of work is the interaction of my family to me. It's not hitting on a truly personal level. I don't know what that personal subject would be without putting myself in the line of view. I listened to Judith Butler reading her intro to "giving an account of oneself." It's thick but worth the read. I feel gimmicky. Maybe more squeamish about revealing myself. My relationships have failed because of my inability to fully disclose my feelings or even to be "truly" vulnerable. 

It's easier to copy these images I've collaged. Easy as in working from preconfigured readymade collages of commercial located personal spaces. blah. I've a medium sized canvas ready to "record" the space beneath my work bench. Something about the objects throwing color and shadow onto themselves in a mix of complicated webs.. this is a distraction from the current body of work. I feel this longing to go back into the academic pull of measuring/sighting. 

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