Weekly Reflection 9/10

What do I have to say that's actually worth saying? What actually matters?”

This week I cut a huge sheet of paper and covered one of my studio walls with it, and wrote the above questions in the center. From there, I wrote other words and phrases around it, then other related ideas around those, circling each and drawing a line between connected ideas. After an hour or two, I had a big spiderweb of ideas on the wall, with things ranging from “depression” to “river on fire.”

I've come to accept that this is the time to start having the uncomfortable conversations I've been avoiding, and the prospect of opening up in that way is terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. I've been struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts for about a decade, and I've only ever talked to a handful of people about it. To take those ideas and experiences and give them physical form and display them to people is unsettling, and I think that making them accessible for the general public to be able to engage with will be a challenge. While these works will certainly be autobiographical, my hope is that they will still be relatable to others. I haven't figured out exactly how to achieve that yet, but it should be interesting.