so what does it mean to video myself painting and painting over a video of myself that is being projected onto the canvas that I am painting on and then project the end result on the canvas that I was working on?
it's like creating the noise of the world in my studio
it's like a sonorous mass
it's like working out a painting and a video simultaneously
it's like the textures are buzzing
it's like chanting a melody
it's like a riotous celebration of the sound in my head
it's like playing instruments in ways that they were not meant to be played
it's like an ugly, etherial, self absorbed, self appropriated beauty
it's like a-tonal
it's coming from a sense of dread
it's like a self imposed limitation
it's like writing a film in response to the score
it's like what it's like when something just makes me laugh
it's like being reminded to keep a sense of humor about myself
                                      to name and claim every past me
                                      to remember that just knowing that there is a wall is sometimes all that is                    
                                      needed to be ok with this moment
                                      to never be afraid that the underlayers can one day be viewed
                                      to value that dancing that is really just nervous shifting and wringing hands                  
                                                           voice that judges because its just another me
                                                           the ability to be uncomfortable
                                                           everything that I make because it is supposed to be here
                                                           the ability to be honest enough with myself that I am                                                      
                                                           comfortable flipping myself off.
                                                           I am necessary
                                                             am good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn'it, people like me.

                                                                     

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

conclusion

+ ask hard questions of yourself. answering them, you might need to sacrifice things which are hard to lose. + art production sometimes is just a labor. you work hard and think that it should be improved with practice. practice makes perfect. but, THINK more, do less sometimes is the answer. + you think that you think a lot. but the reality is that you are only an over-thinker. over-thinking means labor-thinking. no efficient result. a frustrating process. an obstacle. a hinder which prevents you from moving. + listen. think. learn. but simultaneously act. do them. do what you learned and what you heard. + trust your emotions. it is another motive existed in you. sometimes do something based on your emotion. + break the habits. forget. start.
Read more

Shelby Fleming Word Salad

Word Salad   This week I spent sometime compiling all my notes from this semester and organizing them. I plan to, over break, do some in depth research over these topics, articles, and artist. Notes: ·          Amorphous body forms ·          Community of structures ·          Devotion to labor ·          Jason Stopa: “body as a theme to carry the weight of concepts” o    Dana Schutz “bodies provocative deformed, dark undertones, slippage ·          Link art to community engagement ·          Tension between hand and digital fabrication ·          Vertuious space/puriton view of making ·          Mirror transforming viewer ...
Read more

Blog Post 09/17

Image
This week i meet with Marc Mitchell to go over the body of work I'm working on. I posted progress shots of the most current painting in progress. The canvas fabric is sewn together. Today I sewed together the next painting. I found the composition can be served by the channel created by the sewn line. It adds onto the effect of "pieced together." This piece seems to be more about personal placement within the home; my home. I feel this will only serve as a metaphor for disjointed gender. But in the context of a home, then traditional gender roles come into the forefront. That's not what this is about... This project is focused around my gender identity in and outside of a "living" space. Writing more about this will help me focus on what needs to happen for the works to be finished. Sharpie/Interior Latex First Layer of Paint More Paint
Read more